A boomer found solace in letters to his son

Rolland Smith

For Rolland Smith, a retired correspondent and anchorman for both CBS News and MetroMedia Group now living in Santa Barbara, California, there’s a horribly sad day every September, the anniversary of his son Lee’s death from brain cancer. This September made 22 years. When Lee was first diagnosed, Rolland decided that he would try to accelerate conversations they might have over the course of a normal lifetime between father and son. They sometimes did it by way of letters, and because so many baby boomers have suffered something similar, Rolland has given BoomerCafé the very first of four years of letters, in the hope that it will help others, as it helped them.

Dear Lee,

Since your cancer was diagnosed nothing has the importance it used to have. You are constantly in our thoughts. Wonderful memories compete for mind space and attention. If the spirit centers the thought, then the memory loses the competition and we are comforted by a higher awareness. If the body needs to cry then the memory wins and we work through it; learning from the emotion, until the choice comes again.

It’s something parents go through when their adult child is hurting, and they can’t make it go away. I imagine you are going through similar emotions in your private time with this experience and the choices it forces you to make.

I do know it’s OK to be both; to be spiritual at times, to be emotional at times. I also know to expect miracles but remember that holding on to preconceived expectations can bring disappointments. Letting go, with love, will bring peace. Both are important in healing.

We are both physical and spiritual beings. When we perceive, through our physical bodies, via the intellect and instinct, each moment of being is mortally precious because we tie it to time.

Our spirit, however, the true essence of what we are, sees each moment as eternity and perfect, for linear time in spirit does not exist. If you accept that premise, the expression, “Live in the Moment,” takes on a different meaning and feeling.

The spirit is powerful. It controls the mind if we let it and empowers the mind by thought and visualization, and then the mind controls the body. The meditation exercise I taught you using light will be very helpful if you practice it regularly. Remember that life is the illusion, and the spirit is reality, and we are co-creators of both.

Understanding the dichotomy of letting go, to always have, is the constant struggle of understanding life. Implicit in this Truth is the understanding that we are not our bodies. Our bodies only house what we really are — spirit!

The body is a beautiful mechanism brought into form that allows the spirit to exist in this environment and density. When the spirit is finished with what it came here to do, it discards the body and returns to the Source and the body returns to the earth.

The human heart is emblematic of both the spirit and the body. It is, by design, the most important organ in the body, without it no other organ can exist. It’s pith, however, is more ethereal for it is attuned to the Divine and acknowledges that we participate in the Divine will. It was a willing choice, prior to our birth, when omniscience was part of our being and we chose the experiences, we call life with angelic guidance and without the ego’s intervention.

When you go deep within your being Lee, you will remember this truth and much more. Awareness is an equal gift from God to all. It is the choice of remembering that is selective by each of us.

There are only two emotions available to humankind. Love and fear. All other emotions are derivatives. You will remember more, love more, if you let go of fear. It may seem hard for you to comprehend this as you fight the cancer in your head, but it is very important.

I am going to end this for now. There are more letters to come as I share with you the beliefs of my soul as we both move toward Truth through the magnificent companionship of family.

I love you very much and send you healing light, use it as you will.

Dad

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