There are a lot of things we baby boomers grew up with that are now gone … and there are others that we never heard of while growing up that are now part of our lives. And one of those … hold on, if you were expecting something more momentous … is kale. Google the word and you’ll find that the very first entry that comes up includes it among “The World’s Healthiest Foods.” Well, it’ll take more than that to convince Mike Plews of Missouri Valley, Iowa. For him, Kale is nothing short of evil.
I’m going to say it right out loud: I believe I have eaten just about as much Kale as I care to. I gave it a fair shot but there’s just no getting around it. Kale doesn’t cut it for me.
I know it’s good for me. It’s apparently full of all kinds of antioxidants and other stuff that are supposed to extend my life. Blowing Kale-breath at free radicals makes them run for the hills. I get that, but in the end, I just don’t like Kale. And I’m not going to apologize to anyone!
This isn’t vegetable hate here. For example, unlike Bush the Greater I’m just fine with broccoli. Got nothing against it at all. I wouldn’t run out into traffic for a head of it but I’m perfectly happy to munch on broccoli if there isn’t any cauliflower around.
I guess what puts me off about Kale is that it is so out front about its virtue. It doesn’t seem to care that it is about as appealing to eat as a pack of Lucky Strikes soaked in horse sweat because by god, if you eat enough you will live forever and that should be good enough for anybody!
But it’s not enough for me, because that merely makes it the ultimate “shut up and eat your vegetables” vegetable and at my age I want a lot on my plate but not a double helping of rectitude.
To me, a salad should be a symphony of bright happy flavors. Kale doesn’t qualify. It feels like the grouchy uncle at the family reunion. It’s a spoon full of cod liver oil when what you really wanted was a martini.
There, I feel better already. Maybe Kale is good for me after all.