A baby boomer tunes pop quiz

Okay kids, it’s Quiz Time. Philadelphia author and librarian Roz Warren has come up with an irresistible test of your credentials. It’s a Boomer Tunes Pop Quiz.

If you’re a Boomer, your brain is teaming with decades-old Pop tunes that you just can’t forget. Which is the real reason you can never remember where you put your keys: too many brain cells clinging to every last lyric to “Fire and Rain,” “Free Bird,” and “Sweet Home Alabama.” Don’t believe me? Just take this simple test. I guarantee you’re going to ace it.

I saw a werewolf drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vic’s. And his hair was

1. gone
2. heavily moussed
3. perfect

Rikki don’t lose that number, it’s the only one you own, you might use it if you feel better

1. after a trip to the disco
2. when you get home
3. once you lose the mullet

Floatin’ like the heavens above. Looks like

1. Richard Nixon
2. muskrat love
3. the eagle flies with the dove

Your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t

1. watch Dick Cavett
2. rock and roll
3. understand the lyrics to “American Pie.”

Help! I need ___

1. a Quaalude
2. a new leisure suit
3. somebody

Play me a song you’re the

1. piano man
2. rocket man
3. rock lobster

The wind was in from Africa and last night I couldn’t

1. party like it’s 1999
2. sleep
3. fear the reaper

The answer my friend, is

1. 42
2. behind door number 3
3. blowing in the wind

Only the good die

1. on a bad acid trip
2. young
3. comfortably numb

LA is a great big freeway. Put a hundred down and buy

1. a brand new nose
2. a heart of glass
3. a car

Oh baby baby it’s a wild world. It’s hard to get by just upon a

1. couple of Quaaludes and a hot dog
2. bustle in your hedgerow
3. smile

I’ve been cheated. Been mistreated. When will I be

1. old enough to vote
2. living for the city
3. loved

Crosby, Stills & Nash

Brother married Becky Thompson, they bought a store

1. in Ohio
2. in Tupelo
3. on the Wild Side

In the desert you can remember your name, cause there ain’t no one for to give you no

1. pain
2. rain
3. blame

“I am” I said. To no one there. And no one heard at all not even the

1. bear
2. chair
3. au pair

One toke over the line. Sittin’ downtown in a

1. railway station
2. Mercedes limo
3. tanning parlor

Oo-ooh Child, things are gonna get

1. weird
2. easier
3. a lot more expensive

Roz Warren, writer and literary critic.

If you didn’t get every one of these right, you’re not a Boomer. Either that or you’re a Boomer but you’re getting senile. The only upside to dementia? You’ll finally forget the words to “Dancing Queen.”

(Roz Warren is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR. This piece first appeared on Zestnow.com)