Testament to sex, love and happiness in the boomer age

We feel particular sympathy for baby boomers who are back in … or still in… the dating game. Mindy Mitchell of Reston, Virginia, is one of them. Which is why she wrote a whole book about it: Lube of Life: A Testament to Sex, Love and Happiness in the Boomer Age. Here’s an excerpt.

Mindy Mitchell and Edward Land.

Co-authors Mindy Mitchell and Edward Land.

I’m angry. I never expected to be this person in this time of my life: alone and seeking someone via the Internet. I have sporadically attempted the online match sites over the years and each time I gave up in frustration… mostly with myself. Looking at how others see me makes me focus on how I see myself. It is a vicious loop of sadness, hope, embarrassment, grandiosity, and feeling less-than-emotional whiplash at its finest.

My strong feelings surprise me and illuminate the fact that I may, indeed, have some “issues” (self esteem leaps to mind) around this whole thing.

After 59+ years of being on this earth (and two marriages) you would think I would be better equipped to find a lasting and loving connection with the opposite sex. Not so much.

Thinking about embarking on yet another quest for a committed relationship naturally brings to mind relationships of the past. I haven’t had many… except for that spate of encounters in the ‘70s when I wasn’t really attached to anyone in particular. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. Anyway.

Regarding online dating — for every success story there seems to be an endless litany of horror stories. It only makes sense when one is trying to find the proverbial “partner in a haystack.” If nothing else, this whole experiment in terror made me look at myself, my foibles and my hasty generalizations based on a stranger’s picture and their few written words.


Mindy Mitchell

Mindy Mitchell

After some thought, I decide upon Clarity Now as my online moniker. It is my hope that this “handle” will attract a similar soul on a like-minded journey — even if I don’t really know what that means. One thing is for certain: I need all the clarity I can get when it comes to this process of online dating.

Despite some misgivings, I feel the compulsion to try one more time. So I sign on for another 6-month stint. Strap me in. Shoot me now.

I put pen to paper, struggle to subdue my internal critic, compose my profile, squinch my eyes, hit SEND, and hope for the best!

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  1. I wish Mindy the best in her journey to find her soulmate. About ten years ago, I tried the same thing and found that there are many more women online looking for love. I got matched with one or two guys a week and the guy I met for coffee was getting seven to ten hits a day. I do have family members that have been very successful. So it does happen. Good luck, Mindy!

  2. Thank you. I applaud your courage and appreciate your willingness in helping other boomers realize that they do not need to face this time in our lives alone -That the wonder and adventure continues.

  3. It is a courageous step – online dating means that you stand the risk of rejection but you also stand a good chance of being joyously accepted for who and what you are at a time in your ‘boomer’ life when it really does matter.

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