Testament to sex, love and happiness in the boomer age

We feel particular sympathy for baby boomers who are back in … or still in… the dating game. Mindy Mitchell of Reston, Virginia, is one of them. Which is why she wrote a whole book about it: Lube of Life: A Testament to Sex, Love and Happiness in the Boomer Age. Here’s an excerpt.

Mindy Mitchell and Edward Land.

Co-authors Mindy Mitchell and Edward Land.

I’m angry. I never expected to be this person in this time of my life: alone and seeking someone via the Internet. I have sporadically attempted the online match sites over the years and each time I gave up in frustration… mostly with myself. Looking at how others see me makes me focus on how I see myself. It is a vicious loop of sadness, hope, embarrassment, grandiosity, and feeling less-than-emotional whiplash at its finest.

My strong feelings surprise me and illuminate the fact that I may, indeed, have some “issues” (self esteem leaps to mind) around this whole thing.

After 59+ years of being on this earth (and two marriages) you would think I would be better equipped to find a lasting and loving connection with the opposite sex. Not so much.

Thinking about embarking on yet another quest for a committed relationship naturally brings to mind relationships of the past. I haven’t had many… except for that spate of encounters in the ‘70s when I wasn’t really attached to anyone in particular. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. Anyway.

Regarding online dating — for every success story there seems to be an endless litany of horror stories. It only makes sense when one is trying to find the proverbial “partner in a haystack.” If nothing else, this whole experiment in terror made me look at myself, my foibles and my hasty generalizations based on a stranger’s picture and their few written words.

Mitchell_lubeoflife

Mindy Mitchell

Mindy Mitchell

After some thought, I decide upon Clarity Now as my online moniker. It is my hope that this “handle” will attract a similar soul on a like-minded journey — even if I don’t really know what that means. One thing is for certain: I need all the clarity I can get when it comes to this process of online dating.

Despite some misgivings, I feel the compulsion to try one more time. So I sign on for another 6-month stint. Strap me in. Shoot me now.

I put pen to paper, struggle to subdue my internal critic, compose my profile, squinch my eyes, hit SEND, and hope for the best!

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6 Comments on "Testament to sex, love and happiness in the boomer age"

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Jennifer Steck
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I wish Mindy the best in her journey to find her soulmate. About ten years ago, I tried the same thing and found that there are many more women online looking for love. I got matched with one or two guys a week and the guy I met for coffee was getting seven to ten hits a day. I do have family members that have been very successful. So it does happen. Good luck, Mindy!

Mindy Mitchell
Guest

Thank you, Jennifer. It’s true that man seem to be in the minority. Still, hope reigns supreme and you never know what is just around the corner. I appreciate your comment.
Mindy

Eric Mondschein
Guest

Thank you. I applaud your courage and appreciate your willingness in helping other boomers realize that they do not need to face this time in our lives alone -That the wonder and adventure continues.

Mindy Mitchell
Guest

Eric, the adventure will always continue if we allow it 🙂 Thank you for your comment.
Mindy

David Miller
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It is a courageous step – online dating means that you stand the risk of rejection but you also stand a good chance of being joyously accepted for who and what you are at a time in your ‘boomer’ life when it really does matter.

Mindy Mitchell
Guest

And we have certainly honed our “wants/needs wish list! Being on the short side of the hill definitely lends a new perspective to things. I appreciate your comment, David.

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