Scare Your Kid Out of the House!
Kids coming home? AGAIN?!? GypsyNester.com has figured out the Top Ten Ways to Scare Your Boomerang Kid Out of the House!
10. Greet your child at the door naked, with a bottle of Viagra and a can of whipped cream in your hands, and shout, “Honey, I guess we can’t use the kitchen, our baby’s home.”
9. Set the kid’s computer so all the bookmarked porn and poker sites go to GoArmy.com.
8. Invite your friends over to have a party in your child’s room. Trash it and smoke all of the dope.
7. Buy a chauffeur’s hat and start calling your child “Jeeves.”
6. Hack into the kid’s My Space page and change the profile picture to a slug.
5. Say, “I’m glad to have you home but I’m afraid Dad might miss using your bed for ‘our quickies’.”
4. Throw a bridal shower for your child’s high school flame on Super Bowl Sunday.
3. Decorate the room as a nursery and say, “Won’t it be great to share your room with your new baby sister?”
2. Secretly sprinkle all the leftovers with Metamucil.
1. Ask your kid to stay home one evening and say, “Dad’s been awfully frisky lately and I’m worried about his heart. You don’t mind listening in on the old baby monitor, do you?”
Category: Boomer Lifestyle
Love it. I'll bookmark this in case I ever need it.
This was hilarious. I have a sister who kept moving back in with my parents until she was almost 40…now that I have kids myself, however, the thought of them leaving home is horrifying. I'm trying to figure out ways to make them stay so my life can have meaning. Maybe that was the motivation for my parents, too. She simply provided them a reason to live.