Middle age — and that means almost every baby boomer — can be a challenging time for dating and yet at the same time you may feel exhilarated to get out there and meet people.

Unfortunately the media want to snuff out your excitement because you no longer look twenty years old. Next time you turn on your television, you are likely to see ads telling you that for you to be seen as attractive, you must be young … or at least looking younger than you actually are.

These advertisers have products that will magically change a 55 year-old face to look like a twenty year-old face. Or so they say. I know you are not going to want to hear this but the truth is, no creams or gels are going to stop the aging process. You know this. If that’s true, why do so many of
us keep buying these products and spending so much money on trying to look young? Hey, what’s wrong with looking your age?

During middle age men and women begin to feel a loss of control over their physical appearance. They still feel the same on the inside, but their outer body is changing. Unfortunately these physical changes can negatively impact your inner self-esteem.

To understand what you are feeling inside, keep in mind that our culture worships youth and beauty and is even obsessed with it. The youth-obsessed culture hits women’s self-esteem much harder than men’s. Did you ever notice how many television shows have the older distinguished-looking man hooking up with a beautiful woman much younger than he is? At the same time, derogatory jokes are told about the middle-aged woman’s body and supposed lack of attractiveness.

Consider how women are bombarded by these messages every day. It makes a woman want to throw the television right out the window!

So what do you do about it? For starters, stand up for yourself and consciously reject the messages. Don’t let the media interfere with the way you view yourself. Remember, they are just trying to sell you creams and cosmetics. Why feel ashamed over an aging body? We cannot control the aging process but what’s important to remember is, no one does. This is a natural part of the human life cycle.

The second step is to look inside yourself and admire the beautiful qualities you have. Focus on the inner person you are. Middle age can be a good time to clarify for yourself just what your values are. Look at all the talents you have developed and the wisdom you have acquired as you’ve lived your life. Remember, you bring this rich body of experiences and wisdom to your relationships.

As baby boomers, at this point in our lives, most of us are never going to be able to meet the standards of beauty as defined by the media and our youth-obsessed culture. So let’s nourish and love ourselves and our bodies and deepen our individual self-respect. Once we feel good about who we are, we will feel more confident if we’re dating, and we will attract someone who shares our values and views of the world.