A boomer establishes identity with Two Little Words

We’ve all had plenty of time to establish ourselves and our identities. But one of our baby boomer contributors, Philadelphia humor writer Roz Warren (with a new book out today, which is National Library Day, called Our Bodies, Our Shelves), believes that even if we’ve had the time, some of us are only now getting there and, as she says, all it takes is Two Little Words.

TWO LITTLE WORDS

You can spend a lifetime figuring out who you really are. At 60, I’m finally closing in on the truth. At the very least, I know who I’m not. I’ve noticed that the media loves to sum people up with just two words. Like “Internet billionaire.” Or “Famous chef.”

Author and writer Roz Warren, on the right, during an interview.

Author and writer Roz Warren, on the right, during an interview.

I recently began collecting some sobriquets that will never be used to describe me. For good or ill, I’m never going to be a …

Deranged genius

Renowned adventurer

Disgraced cyclist

Superstar swimmer

Serial sexter

Legendary anchorman

Pharma megamillionaire

Pop icon

Clueless banker

Megawatt Star

Doomed aviatrix

Urban gardener

Luv guv

Transgender futurist

Adulterous multimillionaire

Florida socialite

Republican megadonor

YouTube pioneer, or

Blonde chanteuse

cake_sexyOf course, when it comes to a few of these, I do come close. Blond chanteuse? I am (with salon assistance) a blonde. And the toddlers who attend Storytime at the library where I work adore my rendition of “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.”

And while I’m not exactly a Superstar Swimmer, I’m still in the pool every day, executing my plodding but consistent breast stroke.

Disgraced Cyclist? No thanks. I don’t need performance-enhancing drugs to enjoy a ride around the neighborhood on my one-speeder.

The truth is that I’m happy with who I am: a Good Mom, Retired Attorney, Published Writer, and Part-time Librarian.

Although there’s still hope that, one of these days, “Lottery winner“ or even “Pulitzer winner” might apply. (Perhaps I should add “Incurable optimist” to that list?)

What about you? If you could describe yourself to the world with just two words, what would they be? Amazing mom? Stellar wit? Fantastic lover? (Of course, if you’re having a bad day, you might want to go with “Exploited wage-slave,“ “Problem drinker,“ or “Unhappy home-maker.”)

Go for it! Share your two words in the Comments Section. Be as honest (or as delusional) as you want. Here’s your chance to establish yourself as a “Piccolo virtuoso,” “Investment whiz,” “Unsung genius,” or “World-class bodybuilder.”

As for me? I‘m going with “Sexy librarian.”

(This essay first appeared on WomensVoicesforChange.org.)

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