Boomers are not getting any younger but age has advantages

Guess what: we’re not getting any younger. Or, more attractive, according to snarky baby boomer Tina Gregoire, AKA Tina Boomerina! But Tina takes comfort, knowing that Age Levels the Playing Field.

As we women get older, our skin starts to sag, our hair starts to thin, our butts start to spread … and our minds start to dream of vacations to some far-off plastic surgeon’s office.

Tina Boomerina

Tina Boomerina

Well, that’s not quite true. I’m here to make your day… if you’re an older woman who never was a great beauty … because this is your time to shine, girl.

Yes, as we all know so painfully well, some women were born to be adored and to have rose petals thrown at their feet by enchanted males, hypnotized by their symmetry of face, their shapeliness of figure, and their Beautiful People status. Well girl, if you’re one of those chicks, get outta here, step aside, and go cry to your mama … we all know you were always her favorite, anyway … because the times they are a’changing, sister. And, no bitchy, self-absorbed temper tantrum is going to help you now.

It’s a new world. There’s a new girl. She is Plain Jane.

Yes, Margie, age levels the playing field for women. And as we all drift further into middle age, we all have thinning hair. We all have wrinkled jowls. We all have less than perfect bodies. We all become Whoopi Goldberg.

Okay, I realize that you Beautiful People might still be somewhat more beautiful than us Plain Janes, but as the world continues to spin around, your beauty continues to diminish, while our gold stars continue to pile up on our karmic sticker charts. And, as we all age, more and more people are beginning to notice the “Je ne sais quoi” of the “ugly girl” …  that “I don’t know what” intangible quality which comes from decades of studying more than the popular girls ever studied, from working harder than the boss’s squeeze ever worked, and from being nicer than any trophy wife could ever imagine… humbly grateful for every morsel of recognition we could get.

20130810-143658.jpgHey, former beauty queens just are not used to rejection like the rest of us. They haven’t learned how to look in the mirror and to thrive in spite of what they see. Nope, and that’s why pretty girls don’t stand a freaking chance in old age.

And, unlike ravishing creatures who’ve never had to do anything but their nails, plain girls have lived through decades of coping with sacrifice and surrender. We’re the ones who married those guys you wouldn’t talk to in high school, and we’re the ones who stayed married to them through ordeals that would have sent you running to the spa. And, as the old joke goes, we have great personalities.

Hey, no one expects little old ladies to be gorgeous, which is why we are not afraid to go out into the world and face those slight humiliations we’ve always faced. It’s time for the world to see just how amazing we are.


    1. Dear Ever-Beautiful Liz,

      Thanks. Your words will make me feel better when I look in the mirror… which is as seldom as possible these days.

      Hope to meet up with you someday on one of your great travel adventures!


  1. Oh this is brilliant, with definitely more than a grain of truth! Sweet is the revenge of plain Jane’s in old age:) Very well written Tina.

  2. To my mother, beauty was everything and still is. She worried about aging for as long as I can remember. When I was 13 years old, I decided I was not going to be like that, and I never was. My mother is 90 now and I recently asked how she felt when she realized she was losing her beauty. She said it almost killed her.

    I didn’t realize how pretty I actually was when I was young and now I think I was better off not knowing. I reached that point in life where I didn’t look like me anymore in my 40’s and I quit looking in mirrors, but I’m really very comfortable with who I am. If the rest of the world doesn’t like it, that’s their problem not mine.

    1. I often ask myself “when will I stop caring about looks?”. Obviously, not yet if I am still asking the question. I am turning 50 this year and while not as beautiful and shapely as I was in my 20s I am still happy with what I now call my new “yoga body”. I started a yoga practice when I was 48. Bottom line, I may be older, but I still want to be my personal best. Maybe I will be one of those Bette Davis eccentric diva types, who at 80 is all glam, gets dolled up with lipstick, mascara, the works just to be at home with my cats. Upside to that, I would give the neighbors something to talk about and possibly scare the neighborhood children enough to stay off my lawn!

  3. So True! I’m actually grateful that I’m getting older – takes the pressure off. No one expects you to look awesome once you pass a certain age, no matter what you looked like when you were 21 – unless you’re Angelina Jolie – and even she will have to accept fate eventually.

  4. As a boomer guy, I blame the media! I live in Costa Rica, and the women here work hard to remain sexy! There are cultural differences to be sure… Where do the women of WalMart fit into your analysis?

  5. Good article, Tina! I’ve never been overly concerned about my looks. I’ve accepted aging gracefully. At age 63, I am more concerned about staying healthy so I can continue to stay active as I age. Since my eyesight gets worse with age, I can’t see my wrinkles. :)

  6. Wow, even at 38 (39 tomorrow), I realize just how true this is and had to giggle. It seems as if a like-minded community expands as I age, and now I know why–thanks Tina! =)

  7. Regardless of whether you were born at the beginning or the end of the birth boom, we all are healthier and more vibrant than our parents and we have many years of productivity ahead of us. Yet we also want options. Some of us want to remain in full time jobs not only for monetary reasons but because we enjoy the challenge. Many of us have or will have grandchildren with whom we want to spend time with. We don’t want to slow down as much as we want to change priorities. We want to add value to our work but also enjoy life. Some of us want to have time for volunteer work, to give back to society, or learn something new. How can we enjoy the second half of our lives if we are tied to dead end jobs where we are not valued or have lost careers as the result of economic and age related issues? Read more…

  8. Loved the article but I think one of the best things about getting older is watching the old guys trying to act like they’re still “cool.” After viewing Moonstruck with Cher and Olympia my favorite line was Olympia’s to Cher – “The reason old men chase young women is they are afraid of dying.” When I was young I was great looking and got so sick of the same old stupid come on lines. Now that I’m in my 60’s I can truly laugh at the dirty old men. The brain is such a magnificent organ to waste but obviously its not their favorite body part.

  9. Great post….funny with a touch (ok, more than a touch!!) of truth.
    So great to finally get to a time in my life where I truly don’t give a hoot about so many of the things that were so important a few decades ago!!
    That is, until I look in the magnifying mirror – because who can see anything in my “I’m not getting bifocal contacts yet” stage of life – and ask “Who is that old woman??!!” Ok, maybe there’s 1 less thing on that don’t give a hoot list than I thought! But, seriously, it’s nice to look, laugh, accept and rejoice….. I’ve earned every line (though I fight them), grey hair (though less – much less – than there once was…hair , that is), extra pound (you need that soft “Grandma lap” right) and , basically, wouldn’t trade anything.

    There’s an old poem I’ve had since probably my late 20’s. It starts out, “When I’m an old woman, I shall wear purple…” and goes on to talk about all the things she’s going to do when she has the freedom to do it…..and ends with her considering starting now. I always loved that poem.

    Anyway, thanks for a great moment….keep writing and I’ll keep reading… gals gotta stick together!! LOL


  10. Attitude is the best revenge. Aging is a challenge for all women…some of the beauty queens loose the battle less graciously than others. Personality and intelligence always trumps a pretty face.

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