How to Find a Woman … or Not
Just because we’re older, it doesn’t always mean we’re smarter. That’s why Gary Morgenstein’s new book for guys about dating might be useful. And not just for guys. A female reviewer wrote, “If you want to know what is really going on in the brain of the man you have just met for the first cup of coffee at Starbucks, if you want to understand why he suggested an organic/vegan restaurant for your second date, and if you are curious as to what he is planning for the third date, read this book.” Here’s an excerpt from “How to Find a Woman…Or Not (Volume 1)
Gary Morgenstein
“When I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot she said, ‘Ted Kennedy was shot?!’”
Given that we live in a world where the media routinely acts as if every incident is a prelude to the end of civilization, you can only imagine what dating/informing a younger woman is like. Yet this is something guys want.
While certainly women fantasize about young men, they have a different mindset toward aging.
A woman will accept her aging, bitterly for sure, but for the non-Madonna-like female population, they understand they’re not 25 anymore. They want to look young and stylish and will inject Botox into every crevice and have their boobs enlarged or decreased and, if there are affordable methods to flatten the stomach or compress the tush, they’re all over that.
Unlike men, however, women won’t make complete and total fools of themselves in the dating process. Perhaps it’s the maternal gene. Perhaps they’re simply more mature or smarter. If a woman isn’t 25 anymore, she will grumble, but carry on.
Guys are different. We still think we’re young. Perhaps because we often bypass the cerebellum and go straight through the testicles.
No matter if you’re 30 or 50, every man views Jack Nicholson as his hero. There is no public shame in trotting out a young broad on his arm. He will get winks and nods and u go girl from his buds. To have a younger girlfriend without being rich/famous/dazzling looking is a remarkable achievement because, at the end of the day, women are simply more discerning about who they hang with.
We’re not, as long as they’re good-looking. If they’re younger, even better.
So how do you go about getting a younger woman? Yes to the guy holding up a sign in the fifth row, I’m going to define younger if you’d be patient. I’m the one up here all day while you can take naps and bathroom breaks.
To me, younger means a 15 year age difference. 20 tops. Anything wider borders on icky and, contrary to prevailing myth, guys can feel icky, too. Let me further define the icky. We would happily sleep with a woman 30 years our junior, but actually dating her, being seen in public, is different.
You’re 50. You pursue someone who is 35. Is it doable?
That all depends on whether you’re willing to have another family or start a family. A woman in her mid-30s, pushing 40, is nervous about the biological clock and the societal disdain of failing to uphold her breeding duties. Sad but true.
Ask a 40-year-old woman, single, childless, what it’s like to attend the birthday party of a friend’s child. The questions, the faint sighs, the bitchy reassurance that she’ll find someone before it’s too late. When a woman says, I don’t want children, that’s dismissed. Oh just wait until you find a guy, dearie, that will change. Talk about pressure.
But even when they don’t want children, they’ll want to know if you want children. In case they change their minds.
Is lying encouraged here? In good conscience, can I suggest you say:
- Of course I want another family. I’d consider it an honor to diaper a baby at four in the morning. I‘m up peeing all night anyway.
- Maybe playing catch with our kid would be good for my arthritic elbow.
You also better act fit. Ever look at the online profiles carefully? The women in their 40s who say they hike and kayak and ski, sorry, but that is much bullshit. Those are staged photos, like Mount Suribachi. The women in their 30s really do bungee jump.
How do you impress a young girl without appearing a fool in a hair piece?
- By not trying too hard to be young.
- She is going out with you because you aren’t 35.
- You’ve already lost hair, found the first gray strand in the pubes, don’t fit into a size 31 waist, been fired at least twice, so you won’t get hysterical about these changes anymore.
- She figures you’re more settled.
- Settled not only financially, but emotionally, less willing — or able — to chase skirts
Perhaps the best selling point you have is your experience. You can hold a conversation. You can entertain her. You’re at the age where you won’t act like an imbecile (most of the time) and insist on playing touch football with your friends, wrecking your back and expecting her to nurse you.
Besides, she knows if you hurt your back, you’d be too ashamed to say anything lest she think you are older than dirt and one sneeze away from the grave.
She also knows you probably won’t come home reeking of booze because that’s out of your system. Many things are out of your system. Hello, it’s because your system is breaking down.
In short, you possess a certain intelligent maturity, an air of weary knowledge. Plus you might not make her crazy with too many sexual demands.
Category: Baby Boomer Culture, Baby Boomers, Gary Morgenstein
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