How to be a Fashionista after 50
Like the internet, and jet skis and cappuccino and jet airplanes, we boomers invented fashion. RIGHT?!? So why have later generations tried to improve upon it? Or maybe the question really ought to be, why have later generations rejected it? Cindy LaFerle, author of an award-winning essay collection on motherhood and midlife issues called “Writing Home,” has discovered the remedy for all our troubles, and generously dispenses her advice now to the masses: How to be a Fashionista after 50.
By the time we reach midlife, most of us have discovered that fashion history repeats itself. What goes around comes around…even if we can’t always button it across the middle. This occurred to me during a recent visit to the local mall, where I was haunted by the ghosts of my high school wardrobe. Everywhere I looked, there were racks of ruffled gypsy skirts and gossamer peasant blouses; rows of strappy “gladiator” sandals; and stacks of jeans stitched with beads and sequins.
My inner teenage girl desperately wanted to buy everything in sight, including a totally cool military jacket that must have been inspired by Paul Revere and the Raiders. But the voice of common sense – the voice belonging to my inner middle-aged mom – told me it was time to shop for something more mature. Something “age-appropriate.”
Ever since I turned 50, I’ve been grappling with the concept of age-appropriate dressing. I mean, with Goldie Hawn posing for magazine covers in miniscule tank tops, and Mick Jagger prancing around in the same hip-huggers he wore back in 1968, what do fashion editors mean when they tell us to dress our age?
In “Steal This Style,” a new and invaluable guide for middle-aged women, author Sherrie Mathieson insists that we can borrow from the closets of our daughters and nieces. But we must do so with restraint…and a finely tuned sense of personal style.
“Unfortunately, reinterpreting what the younger generation is wearing leaves the margin for error wide open — and that may be the reason we are reluctant to change,” Mathieson warns. “On the other hand, we can easily age ourselves by resigning ourselves to wearing the same old, same old.” Using real women as models, Mathieson illustrates her point with “before and after” photos. I’m ashamed to admit that I recognized myself in a few of the “before” shots. But as Mathieson reminds us, even the best of us can fall into fashion ruts. And we need to be rescued.
After becoming a mother in my early thirties, for instance, I went through the obligatory matron phase. Totally focused on my parenting duties, I schlepped around grocery stores and school parking lots in oversized T-shirts, baggy tunics, and ankle-grazing denim jumpers – outfits that made my Grandma Ruby’s housedresses look seductive. It took years to correct those fashion mistakes. I have a family album of photos to prove it.
Thankfully, a stylish friend in her eighties reminded me that reaching maturity doesn’t have to be synonymous with looking foolish or frumpy. Echoing the iconic late fashion designer Coco Chanel, my friend believes that achieving a style of one’s own can take a lifetime, and that a woman should never stop trying. Or, as Sherrie Mathieson reminds us, “AARP’s invitation to join when you hit fifty doesn’t mean you automatically become a charter member of a crazy hat club or a purple boa society.”
Today I have no desire to revisit my youth. I don’t miss the insecurities or the acne or the go-go boots. But I do miss the fun I had with fashion when I was 16. And since I don’t have daughters, I have no other closets in my home from which to borrow shoes or inspiration. Most of the time, I rely on experts like Mathieson for fashion advice.
Last week, though, my twentysomething son asked if he could tag along on a visit to the local mall. Stopping at one of his favorite clothing stores, I pointed out that some of the merchandise bore an eerie resemblance to outfits his dad and I had worn at his age. (I didn’t even flinch when my son called the style “retro.”) He wandered off to look for a new track jacket while I admired a gorgeous display of hippie jewelry.
“That was neat stuff,” I told him as we left the store and headed for the mall exit. “But it’s probably way too young for me, and I’d look silly in most of it.” My son rarely has an opinion about women’s clothing – mine or his girlfriend’s. But this time he repeated verbatim what I always told him whenever he asked for my opinion on his clothes.
“Hey, if you like it, that’s what matters,” he said, shrugging. And that was all the encouragement I needed. Next week, I’m going back for that cool military jacket.
Author of Writing Home, an award-winning essay collection on motherhood and midlife issues. She also writes “Midpoint,” a weekly column for The Oakland Press in suburban Detroit.
Her blog is: http://www.laferle.com.
Category: Baby Boomer Culture, Baby Boomers, Cindy La Ferle
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My mother was into investment dressing. Buy a few good classic things, mix them and match them and they will last a lifetime. I still do that to a certain degree, a nice black cashmere sweater can go anywhere. But I am not immune to the whims of style and I like to mix it up to. So mostly I do this with accessories. You basic tailored pants and simple sweater or scoop neck will go REALLY well with the cool military jacket, or shoes that are not sensible but really really fun. Au Courant and Classic seem like opposites but the stle I’ve discovered at almost 53 is just that and I am asked to dress people and shop for them all the time.
Cindy has turned on the proverbial lightbulb in my brain. I was wondering why, after years of avoiding clothing stores, I suddenly find myself attracted to buying clothes and jewelry again. It’s because the clothes and accessories in stores today resemble the clothes, jewelry, purses and shoes I was so crazy about in my teens! Like the face of a first teenaged crush, the memory of those fashions is imprinted on my brain deep in a place where I still find them the ultimate statement of what’s cool.
Thank you Cindy, you have reminded me that I can still wear “hip” stuff. My mother’s taste was for the “classic” she used accessories to individualize her look. I love that the clothes of my formative years are now retro. I still wear a fab pair of Yves St.Laurent striped pants that I bought in the Kings Road, London in the 70s.
Mellimel, we totally agree with what you are saying. (We actually just blogged about an age-appropriate, military-inspired jacket at http://www.fabulousafter40.com/age-appropriate-casual-coat/)As image consultants specializing in women over 40, we always recommend filling your wardrobe with classic, quality, staple pieces and adding some flair with up-to-date accessories. So while you may not want to embellish your jeans with beads and embroidery, you can wear a funky purse that has those elements and keep the jeans clean and sophisticated. Experimenting with accessories keeps your look fresh and youthful without looking like you’re trying to be 16 again!