Searching for Love
Looking for love? Boomer humor writer Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant has taken a new interest in boomers — and those older and younger — who are. Her latest book is “Not Guilty by Reason of Menopause
Everyone, it seems, is looking for love and a job these days. Not necessarily in that order, but now that there are fewer Help Wanted ads in the newspaper, it seems there are even more Personal Ads – men seeking women, women seeking men, women seeking women, men seeking men, women seeking dogs to walk. Love really does come in all shapes and sizes. And ages.
Recently I was at a coffee shop waiting for a friend (one of my New Year’s resolutions is to show up everywhere ten minutes later so other people occasionally have to wait on me). I picked up a copy of my local newspaper and a copy of our local senior paper to keep myself occupied. Little did I know how much fun I could have comparing the personal ads across the age spectrum. As a recently divorced 50-something woman, I thought there might also be something for me to learn from this little sociological experiment.
I was intrigued by this ad: “Outgoing student, 19, free spirit, Espresso addict. Must love reggae and Arrested Development.” I admire this girl’s chutzpahI didn’t become a free spirit until my late forties. And, how well she seems to know what she likes.
Perhaps this one is from her grandfather: “SWM (single white male), 78, seeking good dancer. Prefer sweet, intelligent, attractive lady who can still drink caffeine.“ Why is it that all the men who dance are either single or over 75 or both? Not that I wouldn’t happily dance with anyone, but I’ve found that most guys in their seventies and eighties who are still dancing are actually quite good at it, and I feel like Cloris Leachman when I take the floor with them.
Many ads for people under 60 include the author’s astrological sign. I guess it’s a holdover from the days people met in bars and there were only two pick-up lines: “What’s your sign?” and “What? I can’t hear you, the band’s too loud!” The guy who wrote “Tall, dark, and passionate Gemini, 27. Let’s do something where we don’t have to be quiet” may possibly have shared too much information. Anyone who knows their Zodiac might be happy to become involved with an inquisitive, charming, and upbeat guy, if they don’t also know that he is restless, fickle, and superficial.
There were some ads I just wanted to answer myself so I could get to know the people who wrote them. Like this one: “84 year-old lady who loves camping out and motorcycles. Looking for a man who doesn’t whine about his age all the time. Send picture please.” Now there’s my octogenarian role model. I like how she insists on a photo too. She’s not interested in just any old geezer with a Harley.
A lot of love-seekers under 40 are careful to state that they are “ … not looking for anything long-term, just some fun for now.” It seems they have this in common with many daters over sixty, including “WSF, 74, ISO kind, affectionate, not sexual, grandpa type to be best friends. Light drinking OK.” And “Bored? SWM 78, seeks slim well-groomed, SWF for ballroom dancing (lessons paid for if you promise to let me lead.)” Here we go again with the dancing. It’s like they’re taunting me.
It’s also very interesting to look at the phrases younger and older daters use in describing themselves and what they’re looking for. Just as a lark, try to guess the age of each of the following ad writers (don’t peek at the answers at the end unless the suspense is eating you up inside):
- Cuddly teddy bear
- Attractive, loving, lonely gal
- Computer geek
- I am a Pisces
- Great father, loyal, honest, strong bones
- Enjoy e-mail friends
- Help find my tattoos
- I enjoy dance, golf, romantic dinners, and stimulating conversations
- I’m young, not stupid
- Drama queens or persons with drug, alcohol, or mental health issues need apply
- Wacky bleach-blonde vegan
- Good cook, light smoker
If you’re looking for love in the classified ads – whether in the paper or online – keep on hunting. Because unlike jobs these days, whether you’re 20 or 90, it seems there’s a perfect match for everyone.
1 (23), 2 (67), 3 (82), 4 (41), 5 (50), 6 (88!), 7 (63), 8 (37), 9(23), 10(64), 11 (19), 12 (80)
Jane’s latest book is “Not Guilty by Reason of Menopause
Her Web site is Laugh With Leigh-Anne
Filed Under: Baby Boomers • Featured Story • Leigh Anne Jasheway-Bryant • Relationships
