The Fear of Growing Old

“Gerotophobia”: fear of old people or of growing old. Erica Heberling doesn’t know if she has it or not, but she does know one thing: as irritating as she finds some “old people’s” habits … she’ll be one herself, one day soon.

When I was a child, I never thought of my fun, free-spirited grandmother as being old. My father now is in his eighties and is still a hip, with-it guy. That’s why I’ve come to notice that there are two types of elderly people: old ones, and senior citizens. As a baby boomer, I must admit, I don’t relate to “old” people. But I get a kick out of “senior citizens.”

There are certain traits that distinguish an old person from a senior citizen (or the more friendly sounding term: “retired”). What you see in restaurants is a good example of the differences. Retired people enjoy a variety of foods, appreciate being waited on, and tip their servers appropriately. Old people seem to be obsessed with buffets. And tip like it’s still 1958. I don’t know if it is the “all-you-can-eat” aspect, the cheap price, or both of the above. These old folks get downright giddy in anticipation of the soup-and-salad bar, vegetables soaking in greasy lukewarm water, and the employee at the end of the mega-bar ready to slice off a slab of ham and slap it on their plate. The nirvana culminates with the dessert bar and the option of vanilla, chocolate, or a swirl from the soft serve ice cream machine of both.

Frugality is the defining characteristic. Old people (even when they have the money) will buy a generic brand even when they prefer the name brand. I made the mistake of buying generic catsup once and believe me, there is no comparison to the name brand. But when you’re “old,” the few pennies saved is more important than the taste. I understand the limits of fixed budgets but Hey live a little; get the good stuff!

Old people also love to wear the same clothes they have been wearing for thirty years. Relatives give their grandparents, aunts, and uncles beautiful new clothes for their birthdays and holidays but the golden agers stick them in the closet. They are “saving them” … maybe for the 60th high school reunion.

Now, it’s almost our turn: pretty soon, we baby boomers will enter our golden years and being cheap can’t be blamed on living through the Depression. That’s why I cannot judge too harshly. I am fifty now and in a few short years, I might have a craving for fried, baked, and broiled chicken, beef, ham, ten different vegetables and yeast rolls all at the same time. So when you are behind me waiting in line at the grocery store and that’s me counting out pennies, please be patient while I dig through my small coin purse (the one where you squeeze the sides to open it). And think kind thoughts while I rummage through my handbag and leisurely pull out everything else while I’m hunting for that 50-cents-off coupon on the good catsup.

Tags: Erica Heberling, gerotophobia

Category: Baby Boomer Culture, Baby Boomers